If you are in a co parenting agreement than I am sure you can relate to missing your children while they are with the other parent. This is one of the hard hurdles we must over come when separated from your children's other parent.
Adjusting to a new life can sometimes be hard when you have been with your babies from the moment they were born. You are not alone, in fact, there are many people who suffer from this situation, but there are positive ways to over coming this emotional burden are bring you a little peace.
While your child is away, utilize your time by spending it with more people. Plan ahead of time for instance, every other Thursday after work have dinner with your mom and dad. Invite a friend to hike with you every Friday or Saturday. There are many things you can do to keep yourself surrounded by people. A few more ideas might include, getting drinks with friends during happy hour, going on a day trip with your brother or sister or join local groups such as wine club. You might have to think out side of the box but there are plenty of ways to accomplish this step and keep your mind focused on the loved ones you are with.
Come up with a schedule and prioritize your precious time. You might work a 9-5 job so after work, have a set schedule of going to the gym from 530-630. After the gym do one of the plans with friends and family. You can also pick up an extra shift at work. Try out a new fun hobby that you never had time to do before, for instance photography class or pottery class. What ever it is you decide to do, have a set schedule and be consistent.
Use meditation to bring you peace and comfort. For those of you who have never meditated before it is beyond amazing and makes you feel good. The best way to meditate in my opinion is through guided meditation. Before bed, go onto Youtube and search for guided meditation. I prefer to meditate while laying down with the headphones in my ears. I would suggest you meditate every night for at least one month in order to see the affects. Sorry, but one meditation isn't going to do the trick. You can also search specific guided meditations such as, guided meditation for loss, for stress, for sadness, for love, for happiness. What ever you wish to work on, focus on that.
Lastly, If the other parent allows this, try to spend time with the child while they are with the other parent. For instance a great place to do that is to meet your children during their lunch hour which might be your lunch hour too. Try to do this at least once a week if you are able too and the child is not embarrassed. Use face time to speak with them after school or before bed every night. I enjoy face time more because I can see my children and it makes me feel better. Offer to watch the children if your ex needs a sitter or at least let them know you are available if that ever comes up. Lastly, invite your child and your EX to an activity. Although this might be hard, your main focus is your child so enjoy the time you are spending together!
This book hits the nail on the head and is so amazing and to the point! I could not put it down you will love it too! I highly recommend this one!
Barbara & Susan's Guide to the Empty Nest: Discovering New Purpose, Passion & Your Next Great Adventure
Hang in there, it can be hard but if you follow these tips you can find peace and comfort.
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This is a great post. I don't think anyone can fully understand how hard it is to share your child after a divorce unless you experience it yourself. Thanks for sharing.
ReplyDeleteThanks for the ideas. I miss them so badly when they’re with dad. I’m trying to find peaceful, inexpensive things to do so I don’t feel so lonely.
ReplyDeleteSuccess Write content success. Thanks.
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